They are one of the most adored internet couples. Youtuber, author, and HIV Activist Nozibele Qamgana-Mayaba and partner Sikhumbuzo Mayaba recently announced that they are expecting a baby. Through a string of pictures and videos, the couple finally revealed the news and shared a vlog on their YouTube channel.

THE PREGNANCY

The couple shares their pregnancy journey and how Nozibele wanted to fall pregnant before a certain age. "I wanted it to happen before 35. I didn't want to think about things like down syndrome.' She was in her best shape when she fell pregnant and was already a few months when she found out. "Last squatter of the year I started going to the gym and seeing results.' She started getting morning sickness after coming from a holiday. "I was sleeping a lot and feeling nauseous. I didn't know my dates anymore.' 

LEARNING SHE WAS HIV POSITIVE

Nozibele has been living positively with HIV since finding out about her status in August of 2013 at age 22 years old. "It was by coincidence. There was a wellness day event planned at work. She agreed to do tests and activities and take blood tests on the wellness day. "At the time, I didn't think anything of it. I didn't see the need to test because I had gone for one the previous year,' she says. "I cannot recall what the nurse said during pre-counselling. I only remember her pricking the tip of my finger, squeezing blood out, and waiting for my results. The whole time, I couldn't be bothered by anything. I was more anxious about being late for my meeting.' After a minute or so of waiting for her results, she asked to redo the test. "I thought that was weird. She casually explained that the test was inconclusive. That was enough to wake me up. What did she mean by the test was inconclusive? I suddenly didn't even understand what inconclusive meant. She further explained that the results were not clear.' She says a part of her wanted to take this as a sign that she should leave everything and go back to her desk and get ready for my meeting. "Common sense kicked in and told me to allow the nurse to do the retest and confirm that I was HIV negative,' she says. "She did the test again. The waiting felt like a lifetime. My armpits were sweaty. Finally, she placed both tests in front of me and confirmed I was HIV positive. The first test was not inconclusive. She had done the second test to confirm the positive results.' 

 ACCEPTANCE

She was shocked. "More than anything else, I was confused. I didn't understand what was happening,' she says. "I had only been sleeping with one person. Let me actually rephrase that; my then-boyfriend was the first person I had ever slept with. It hadn't even been a year since I had given myself to him. How was I HIV positive?' For two years she went through a period of deep depression. "I was suicidal. I cried myself to sleep. It was particularly difficult because I didn't have the support of my family. I couldn't tell them what was going on. What would I say? I was the "good girl'. I was their shining star. I was the kid that parents used as an example to discipline their kids. How do I start telling my mother that I was possibly dying? So, I kept quiet. I didn't say anything. I physically felt the pain eating me inside.' To make matters worse, her boyfriend left her a few months later. "That was enough to send me off the edge.' But with the support of family and friends, she came to a place of acceptance. "It took a lot of work. It took a lot of praying. It took a lot of talking. I had to forgive. I had to take responsibility for what happened. I let go of the hate. I let go of the blaming. I fought hard to have my life back and take charge of what destiny looked like.'