As a survivor of abuse at the hands of a number of vicious men, Mamsie Mashinini- Ndlalani says she knows all the signs of abuse and how victims tend to cover-up the sins of their abuser.

Growing up, she was abused sexually, financially, physically and emotionally.  What sets Mamsie apart is that, she is using her life trauma and pain to empower victims of abuse, providing skills for them to be independent.

The 55-year-old is the founder and principal of Mamosa Educational Institute-Combined School, the first private and English medium school in the township of Duduza in Ekurhuleni.

An emotional Mamsie admits, "I started living my life at the age of (50) after finding my purpose in life.'

HOW HER STEPFATHER MOLESTED HER

Mamsie explains that her first encounter with abuse was at the hands of her stepfather who would leave his marital bed and mom behind and come to her bedroom, forcing her to help him ejaculate.

This chapter of her life opened a can of worms as what followed was 43-years of all forms of abuse by her boyfriend, husband, cousin and aunt's husband.

"When my stepfather started, I didn't understand what he was doing but I knew it was wrong, he made me promise that this was our little secret,' she recalls, adding that,

"I knew the routine, every night he would come into my room, put his finger on his lips and pull my hand to his private part.'

The abuse continued for five years, when her mother divorced him and she had to move from Vrede to KwaNdebele with her maternal grandmother.

TEACHER TAKES ADVANTAGE OF PUPIL

Mamsie adds that at the age of 16,  one of her teachers in Grade 9 attempted to rape her.

The teacher gave her his bag after school to take it to his room but while she was walking through the corridors, she overheard a group of teaching laughing and congratulating him for successfully getting Mamsie to his room.

"I dropped the bag and ran out of the premises without looking back. The following day the teacher lashed at me callously for making him lose his bet,' she remembers.

Mamsie admits it wasn't easy standing up for herself as what followed was abuse from the teacher, until she decided to run away to Duduza to her aunt.

HELL AND BACK

Mamsie was under the impression that her aunt's place would be her refuge as she believed that she was going to protect her… but she was wrong.

Months later, her aunt's pensioner husband started sexually abusing her.

"I would wake-up in the middle of the night and find him standing naked next to me in the kitchen where I would be sleeping. When he realised that I was awake he would point to his neck indicating that if Is creamed, he would kill me.

I started sleeping under the table with chairs around me so that they would make noise when he attempts to touch me in my sleep,' she explains.

SUFFERING AT THE HANDS OF FAMILY
At the age of 16, Mamsie decided to give into one of the older men who were making advances on her with the hope that he would rescue him from her pain.

"I fell pregnant the first time we had sex,' she says."Luckily he agreed to pay damages and maintained the child financially and I was allowed to go back to school.'

One night while sleeping in the dining room, she felt her panty being pulled down and when she opened her eyes, she saw her cousin getting on top of her naked body.

She screamed for help and her aunt and husband came to her rescue but the following she was given marching orders with a small baby in tow.

She explains that she didn't have anywhere to go but decided to move in with the father of her child.

A PRODUCT OF RAPE

Her boyfriend soon turned into a monster and would assault her at every given chance for passing her grades and greeting other men.

Her break came when she was accepted to study at theUniversity of Fort Hare.

"I remember in my third year and I was visiting home for the holidays and the day before going back to school, he locked me in a room and raped me all day. I fell pregnant with my son and I never connected with him. I hated him but because of my beliefs I didn't want to have an abortion.'

Mamsie gave her grandmother her son and moved on with her life.

"I was supporting him financially but didn't want anything connecting us.'

JUDGEMENT FROM CHURCH

Mamsie later got married to another man and her husband started abusing her too.

"I thought I was only attracting negative energy. WhenI spoke about my abuse in church I was told to be submissive.

"My turning point was when my 18-year-old stood between us during a fight and threatened to fight his father. I knew staying in this relationship didn't damage me but my son too, I filed for a divorce and walked away from a life of luxury and started building from the bottom,' she adds.

In 2016 she opened her school, an English medium school in Duduza and as they say…the rest is history.