It has been two years since veteran actor Menzi Ngubane died. His daughter Siyasanga Sishuba (24) and his wife Sikelelwa "Sikie' Ngubane have been attending counselling to cope with grief and loss.  

HIS DOCUMENTARY

Last year the family premiered his documentary 'Ngubs - The Life And Times of Menzi Ngubane' about the thespian's life on and off the screen. This year, the family will be taking the documentary to parts of the country that were unable to access the doccie. "It is important to carry on with my husband's legacy because he was one of the best actors we had in Africa. He gave a lot of his life to this industry, he loved it, and he had the God-given talent,' Sikie tells ZiMoja. "South Africa is notorious for not giving props while people are still alive, we do it when they pass. For my sanity and the family as a whole, we need to make sure that he is not forgotten. He loved and respected his craft. I would love upcoming artists to learn from him, support or no support, we shall continue.' Since his passing, the family has been busy with finalising the documentary and preparing Menzi and his father's tombstone unveiling. Menzi's father died a week after the actor passed.

LIFE AFTER MENZI

Now that the rat race has subsided, Sikie says, only now in the second year is his death hitting her hard. "This year is hitting me hard because I think last year was busy with unveilings and documentaries,' she says. "It's only now that I realise that my husband has passed. I thought I had dealt with it. I mourned him for the whole year and then prepared to remove the mourning clothes and worked on the unveiling with his father and work on the doccie. I thought I was okay. This year, everything is calm, and I realise that I am not okay, at all.' Sikie says she is struggling to even speak to people or socialise. "I keep my phone switched off. I keep it on for my kid's school things. I am not okay emotionally and physically. Financially, we make do with what we have. Yes, the bulk of the income is no longer there, but we don't sleep without eating. I still have a job. I am just not okay emotionally, at all. Kubuhlungu. I don't think I can ever get through the passing of my husband. " 

TAKING TIME OFF

Sikie says that she is taking time for herself. "I am not coming to terms with it at all.' A teary Sikie says she has to be strong with her former children. "I don't want them to see me in this state. I will never understand. I still question God as to why.' Sikie says some people who were close to her husband still check up on her husband. "Nhlanhla Mdlalose still checks up, he was with him on Isibaya, and our MC at the wedding. But the industry is notorious for ukungahoyani. I guess life has to go on, people are going through a lot. I am not the first woman to lose a husband and a family member, I understand they have their own lives, so I am not mad.' She says family and friends from both have been supportive. "They understand when I want to shut down like now. I am feeling the pressure and the loss. Unfortunately, life has to go on.